Pump It is Black Eyed Peas’ rendition of the movie theme ‘Pulp Fiction’. My Ticket is an another issue I raised to somehow describe how the world of an ERP duty manager revolves around the incident tickets. Unlike previous songs, the lyrics was assigned with an upbeat and fast throw of words. As you all know, R&B is like that.

[audio:http://www.snapdrive.net/files/504729/music/Black%20Eyed%20Peas%20-%20Pump%20It.mp3]
Pump It as popularized by Black Eyed Peas

Ha ha ha
Pump it Ticket
Ha ha ha
And ticket (louder major) [4x]
Turn up the radio Downgrade it to minor
Blast your stereo Assign to a workgroup right

Niggas SM wanna hate on us (who)
Niggas SM be nervous (who)
And I know why they’re hatin’ on us (why)
‘Coz that’s so fabulous SLA so too close (what)
I’ll be real on us (c’mon)
Nobody Ev’rybody got nuttin’ on us (no)
Girls be Work are all on us
from London back down to the US.. s.. s.. All tickets back down from the IT-S-S
We rockin’ support it (contagious continuous), monkey PG business (outrageous)
Just confession, your girl admits team escalates, we do shit.

F-R-E-S-H We Refresh
D-E-F, that’s right Q-M-R-N-G-seven (rock)
We definite, B-E-P They escalate to, E-R-P, we reppin’ complete it
So, turn open it up (turn open it up) [3x]
C’mon baby, just

Pump it Ticket (louder major) [6x]
And say Assigned, oh oh oh oh
And say Assigned, oh oh oh oh
Yo, yo

Turn up the radio Downgrade it to minor
Blast your stereo Close all your incidents
Right now
The joint queue is fizzlin’
It’s sizzlin’
Right Red

(Yo, check this out right here)
Dude wanna hate on us (dude)
Dude needs an ease on up (dude)
Dude They want us act on up
But dude get shut like flavor Incidents like system shutdown
Chicks say False alert, ain’t down
The chick backstage when we’re in town shift
She likes man on drunk screenshots
She wanna Before you hit n’ run
Yeah, that’s the speed need
That’s what we do
That’s who we be
B-L-A-C-K-E-Y-E-D-P to the E, then the A to the S G-dot-I-E-R-P-E-S-C-A or the B or I-T-B-S
When we play, you shake cover your ass
Shake it, Shake it, Shake it Solve it, solve it, solve it, girl errr
Make sure you don’t break it down it, girl errr
‘Coz Else we gonna
Turn Bring it up (turn bring it up) [3x]
C’mon baby, just

Pump it Ticket (louder major) [6x]
And say Assigned, oh oh oh oh
And say Assigned, oh oh oh oh
Yo, yo

Turn up the radio Downgrade it to minor
Blast your stereo Close all your incidents
Right now
The joint queue is fizzlin’
It’s sizzlin’
Right Red

Damn Down (down down) [5x]

Wow

Apl de ap Team ERP from Philippines
Live and direct, rocking this scene
Breaking on down Singing this song for the B DM boys,
And B DM girls waiting to do their thing
Pump it Ticket, louder come on major and all
Don’t stop, and keep it goin’
Do it, let’s get it on
Move it!
Come on Transport, baby, do it!

La-da-di-dup-dup die dy
On the stereo servi… servi… service desk
Let those speakers changes blow your mind (blow my mind, baby)
To let it go, let it go
Here we go
La-da-di-dup-dup die dy (c’mon, we’re there)
On the stereo servi… servi… service desk
The system is gonna feel so fine

Pump it Ticket (louder major) [6x]
And say Assigned, oh oh oh oh
And say Assigned, oh oh oh oh
Yo, yo

Turn up the radio Downgrade it to minor
Blast your stereo Close all your incidents
Right now
The joint queue is fizzlin’
It’s sizzlin’
Right Red

@second verse. Service Management, or the SM, is very conscious on meeting the SLA. They push pressure on ERP to solve this and that. If not, explanation on incident report is required.

@last part of the chorus. Tickets depending on which system the incident originated are grouped into queue. ERP Duty Managers are dedicated to three queues excluding those of Intelligroup ticket bins. When the ticket expired, resolution time is out of SLA, the font of the ticket description becomes red as fury as the management.

@third verse. Who’s dude? Clue: D**E… Dude nga!?

@fourth verse. We have our own Service Management in the person of Shububu Hannah So who keeps reminding us to update and solve the incidents every now and then. It is so alarming that queues have overflowing of red tickets. Screenshots of the queue are sent to her for quality control purposes.

Fastfood is the fastest way to solve one’s hunger. Unhealthy yet remains practical. From the five fastfood chains I often visit, I compare them side by side according to some criteria. Do we have the same observation? Let’s see.

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Here are some of the Peter Callesen’s A4 cutouts which I enjoyed most. More pictures and their detailed photographs in his site.

‘Do you love Balu?’, Ryan, one of the auditors, asked me.

I don’t understand what he’s referring. I replied, uncertain and simple, ‘No’.

He was keep on asking about balu as I was keep on thinking what balu is. Perhaps, two or three questions already flew in about that balu while I was so busy processing connections of the balu among the security and previous topics we had discussed.

‘No’, but I was ‘really unsure’ on my answer.

When every one else’s talking about the yolk, the embryo and the duck, I almost wanted to knock my temple. ‘The egg, of course’, I said to myself. Then, I butt in telling that I used to eat the embryo when I was a kid without knowing what the meticulous and selective adult’s thinking now.

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I am surprised when I stumbled upon this site which features the same comic strip. What better thing the site projectcartoon.com has is that it presents the humor with more frames and guess what… user-customizable!

It is easy for everyone to relate with comedy even one is not working for a consulting company. Gossip is one similar case. Imagine what would happen to the tree and worse to the swing.

The first security project I handled also fits here. Nevertheless, it was rolled out successfully.

Although Globe is publicizing this electronic MRT ticket as the first reloadable chip, it does not sell as my first choice when availing the train service.

The only gain that I sense in buying G-Pass is when the stored value ticket is not available and the queues in buying the single journey tickets are long. I’m not sure if the Globe pass value expires or not.

Here are the downfalls of G-Pass:

1. When you availing the chip for the first time, you are to pay hundred pesos. Half of which are preloaded to G-Pass. That means the chip costs fifty pesos.
2. The reload has subcharge of about 1%. If you reloaded 25 pesos, the actual value stored in the chip is roughly P22.50.
3. Besides the subcharge, each journey also taxes additional amount. If the ride costs ten pesos, you have to pay some centavos on top of that.
4. The machine that accepts the chip are installed at most to two slots. There’s no dedicated queue for G-Pass so if it happens the queue is long for that slot, you are still needing to wait.
5. On my first try of it, I got stranded. The machine did not recognized the entry point. The seller who is in the booth needs to come out and temporarily close the booth just to assist the customer.
6. This is the same case if someone can’t get in.
7. There’s no bonus ride!

But reading their advertisement, “Mas madali mo na silang makakapiling.” The purpose is still met.

P.S. Globe is planning to use G-Pass as electronic wallet. How come? They already have G-Load.

Rating: 1.5 out of 5 stars.

Be aware of this modus operandi of pickpocket-ers. Two of my teammates lost their cellphones by the same strategy inside the bus. The gang is composed of at least three members. The first member will plant bubble gum to the hair of the unaware victim while he is on his way off the bus or probably to another seat just to pass by at your side. The accomplice then will notify you that someone had just placed a bubble to the victim’s hair. Since knowing that the bubble gum is hard to get rid of, the prey will be so busy in removing such gum. Without noticing it, the one seated beside him or her is another accomplice. So quick that one won’t recognize it.

It was only after their petty crime stories were narrated I realized that I was almost victimized by the Bubble Gang. The variation of it is instead of dropping the bubble gum to those who had long hair, the first member will spit behind. More disgusting isn’t it? Of course, my hair was short that I can obviously feel that something fell to my head.

I remember I took my cellphone out to check the SMS message. I thought it was an EGN page. The first person seated behind somewhere may have seen those or someone beside me signaled it. Then the friendly accomplice told me that someone had just spitted on my back. At first, I ignored that person directly behind me because I was not hearing and fully understood what he’s saying. But he was insistent to help that he even pat me and showed that disgusting spit.

The third member had tried to snatched my cellphone from my pocket. Fortunately, he failed and I was about to get off the bus.

Another teammate remarked that he was lucky that he looks sanggano and kawatans are intimidated and thinks twice before victimizing him.

I was held up before and was really vigilant and observant since then. My lessons are

1. Never take the seat along the driver’s when riding the jeepney. You don’t know who will sit beside you.
2. Be very observant in those who get into the bus. If they come in as a batch and they disperse, start hiding your valuables before they declare holdup.
3. The view is nice but don’t take the seat near the window. Always sit near the aisle.
4. As much as possible, do not take standing-vehicle only transports. The more the passengers are compressed, the more chances of snatchers’ winning.
5. Most importantly, if not urgent, don’t take out the cellphone or display your music players. They are really hot in their eyes.
6. Stoplights are the snatchers’ watch. They go as the stoplight goes.
7. Be observant when your seatmate is picking something even from his pocket. You don’t know what pocket is next.
8. Change positions but also pay attention to those who also do.
9. Place belongings securely.
10. Never trust a stranger.

Click thumbnails to view the large picture.

Captain Barbell!

Wow Mali!

Kinky!

ERP is almost like this!

Bravo!

The Star of All Coffee

Nice to have in our MRT!

Kinkier!

Don’t worry there’s no sugar!

Once you pop, you can’t stop!

Genius idea

Creative!

That’s hot!

Scientific and terrific!

Striking!

Car pool!

A travel bag, huh!

More funny and creative advertisements on these sites:
creativecriminal.blogspot.com
hemmy.net
Thanks to Raileen’s email on creative trucks to complete this first batch.

Show How A.

How to create a cute shirt out of a dollar, in our case, a twenty pesos.

http://members.cox.net/crandall11/money/shirt/

Show How B.

How to obscure any URL including http://www.jonas.ph.

http://www.pc-help.org/obscure.htm

Show How C.

Lock your computer in less than a second and step away from your computer with no worries.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/299281/lock_you_computer_with_just_two_keys/

Promise, I never knew till I found this. Stupid me.

Show How D.

How to lace your shoes. This is not kiddie stuff. You will eventually dig into this somehow.

http://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/lacingmethods.htm

Display Shoe

Bow Tie

Lattice

Hidden Knot

Loop Back

The customer of our account sent their auditors to review the processes governing their infrastructure system which are handled by the ERP team. The security processes, as well as the incident, change and problem management, are being evaluated. I attended at the said audit meetings and acted as the backup of our key auditee, Paul, for the security part. P&G sent four auditors wherein three of them are foreigners, American, a European and Germany. HP also sent a Singapore-based sort-of a mediator.

I won’t go on the details of the audit but I will recount the lighter side of their visit.

It was only on their second day when I joined the everyday lunch out. We dined it to Gerry’s Grill for them to taste our Filipino dish. They had this pizza trip the other day. Paul did the management. He’s really good at that. He wanted to make sure the guests would get the best of all worlds.

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