You might already have read this from another friend’s blog or forwarded email. These have been old jokes but they remain funny (after all). I commented every line so every time someone would cut and face this post on his or her blog, I would be immortal. Sana kayanin nyo pa ulit ang pagtawa.

Anulled and void
[Ah, broken marriage...]

Are you joking my leg?
[Baka namanlong-legged legs pa yan. Ayos!]

Are you sure ka na ba?
[Blame Kris Aquino. :) ]

Base-to-base casis
[Anongbase ka nga ulit?]

Been there, been that.
[You must been everywhere... hahaha]

Beneath the belt
[Kung paano daw ako humirit. Nasaktan ba kita?]

Burn the bridge when you get there.
[Burn the bushes sabi ng officemate namin...]

Can you repeat that for the second time around once more from the top?
[Napagod ako dun ah. It's sweater than second time around.]

Can you repeat it once again?
[Isa ka pa!]

Can’t you just cut me some slacks?
[Straight cut?]

C’mon let’s join us!
[C'mon c'mon naman yan.]

Don’t touch me not!
[Noli Me Tange Ire]

Do you have more brighter ideas?
[Nagdilim ang paligid ko ah.]

First and for all.
[Last and for least...]

For all intense and purposes.
[Ka-tense ito.]

Forget it about it.
[Okay, I'll forgive it about it too.]

Get the most of both worlds.
[Makamundong nilalang ka!]

Give him the benefit of the daw.
[Ano daw?]

Hello?… For a while, please hang yourself…
[Wait! Hindi na ako makahinga. Sandali lang. HHEL--. Busy dial tone.]

Hi. I’m , What’s yours?
[Bwelo muna kasi, By the way I'm, what's yours dapat]

How much is the kidney meal?
[Kidney ni Jollibee ang ni-donate.]

I can’t take it anymore of this!
[I can't too!]

I couldn’t care a damn!
[Darn!]

I ran into some errands.
[Ano daan papuntang errands?]

If worse comes to shove.
[The shove comes worst.]

I’m only human nature.
[Oo nga naman, nagkakamali din anghuman nature.]

I’m very iterated!
[Naku! Takbo! Galit na siya!]

I’m sorry, my boss just passed away.
[Ah... umalis lang. Mabubuhay pa daw ba siya?]

In the wink of an eye.
[croons "Kisapmata"]

It’s a blessing in the sky.
[Google search "blessing in the sky", hindi ka lang nag-iisa.]

It’s a no-win-win situation.
[Pangit nga naman kasi kung lose-lose.]

It’s as brand as new.
[Anong brand nga 'to?]

It’s not my problem anymore! It’s your problem anymore!
[Parang minumura mo ako ha. Anymore rin.]

Let’s give them a big hand of applause.
[Horror ito.]

My answers have been prayered.
[Buti naman na-gets Niya.]

None ID. Nothing Entry.
[I have no to say more.]

Now and there.
[Hear and then.]

One of these days is not like the other.
["in another" pala ito - HP ERP joke]

Please me alone!
[Shut your up!]

Right there and right then.
[Kanina ka pa ha.. I'm starting to get iterated.]

So far, so good, so far.
[So?]

So… what’s a beautiful girl like you?….
[Napaghalo yunglyrics.]

Take things first at a time.
[First and fourth most.]

That’s what I’m talking about it.
[Talk to my finger 'coz you don't deserve a hand.]

The feeling is actual.
[Actual understanding pala.]

The more the manyer.
[The more entries you send the manyer chances of winning.]

The sky’s the langit.
[Di kita ma-reach. Taas mo, pre!Heaven!]

Well well well. Look do we have here!
[Well...]

What are friends are for?
[Sisihin ang kanta.]

What happened after the erection of the volcano?
[Ano bang lumalabas diyan sa erection? Siyempre lava. Kayo talaga!]

What is the next that is?
[Next entry.]

What is the world is coming to?
[End?]

Whatever you say so.
[Whatever!]

What’s your next class before this?
[Mapapaaga dropping nito.]

Where’d you came from?
[Saang planeta ka galing?]

You can never can tell.
[Destiny. Comical nga lang.]

You want to have your cake and bake it too.
[Parang si Wendy ah. Kung gusto mong magbreakfast, magluto ka.]

You’re barking at the wrong dog.
[Sit, tree, sit.]