From: World Peace [2/3]

Yes, I pushed my luck to become a Pinoy Big Brother housemate this upcoming season. I password-protected all of my posts related to the audition so my employer wouldn’t know that I’m actually planning to be an ABS-CBN’s employee or should I say, a talent. Hehe.

Here’s a quick taste of my first PBB audition experience – a list of 30+ Eksena sa Teleserye ng Totoong Buhay sa Labas ng Bahay Ni Kuya. Some of memorable moments while in the long and winding queue under the scorching sun. These are proofs that Pinoys, of all walks of life, in times of hard knocks and trials, humor and laughter become the best remedies for body pain and hunger.

1. “Pila po ba ito ng PBB Regular?”
“Ay ate, hindi po. Pila po ito ng NFA rice.”
(There’s PBB Regular and PBB Teen.)

2. “Santino, pagalingin mo kami!”, one shouted.
“Magpapakabait na kami tulad ng sabi ni Big Bro.”, one replied.

3. One acted as reporter, “Nandito po tayo ngayon sa Tomas Morato Street kung saan napabalitang nagkakaubusan na ng NFA Rice.” Then he interviewed someone. “Sabi nila 20 truck ng bigas yung dadating eh kanina pa kami dito, hindi pa umuusad yung pila.”

4. After 4 hours, I remarked, “Mababatukan ko talaga yung mag-vo-voluntary exit sa season na ito. Ang hirap-hirap mag-audition!”

5. “Kuya, mapagkakakitaan natin ‘yang camera mo? Wala silang dalang closeup at whole body picture.”, one of the business-minded inmates suggested.

6. After 5 hours of waiting, I called someone on my imaginary phone. “Tita Charo Santos, ang tagal ng pila. Ipasok mo na ako.”

7. One took out his ledger and asked every one nearby to sign for his friend’s list.

8. One shouted… “Si Eba ang may kasalanan! Si Eba!”

9. After some hours of hunger, someone offered his packed pastries. “Eto oh tinapay.” Every one thanked him but declined. Then he replied, “Kayo naman, nagpapakabait na ako para kapag tinanong kayo ni Kuya kung sino ang karapat-dapat na maging Big Winner, ako sasagutin nyo.”

10. “Ang gulo ni Manong Tindero, nagbebenta hindi alam kung magkano yung paninda.”

11. There’s a truck of garbage that passed by. “Woah! Pandagdag sa amoy natin!”. Sweat plus Dump truck’s scent. The best!

12. The scavenger of the same truck of garbage waved to us. Then some answered back, “Kuya, Kuya…” And then they threw their plastic bottles to the truck.

13. “Picture! Picture!”, as I invited my fellow kanto-mates to pose. “Pa-grab na lang sa Friendster ah”

14. “Ay naku! Mali yun pinilahan ko… Akala ko Wowowee!”

15. “Kanina magkatabi lang tayo sa pila, tapos ngayon textmate na tayo?”. See #7.

16. “Mga lalake talaga… pag may dumaan, sa puwet lang nakatingin”…
“Gutom na kasi kami!”

17. After one of the several stops in the line, as we progressed, one shouted “Nakakapaglakad na ako… Pero hindi na ako nakakakita.”

18. The price of bottled water increases as one approaches the Concert Hall entrance. It started P10. Then later, P12. The highest price’s P15.

19. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12″, a group was counting the steps.
“1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10″… “Boo!”, the same group yelled!

20. “Oyyy… arms forward raise daw!!!”. Pinaayos kasi yung mahabang pila. Leche.

21. “Ano ‘to… Ngalay-lakad?!”, a non-moving version of Alay Lakad

22. “Mag-ka-isa! At ‘wag mag-sama…”, one cried out People Power theme song. “Eeennnkkk…” a buzzer-like-from-Singing Bee reply was heard.

23. A scouting handler approached someone in the line. The people at the back, “Wag kang pauto!! Ibubugaw ka lang nyan?!”

24. Robi Domingo, first runner up of Teen Edition, came out from a balcony of PDA and asked us “OK pa ba kayo jan?”. Everyone replied… “Hinde!”

25. While we’re in the front of PBB house facade, I commented, “Ang daming gustong magbakasyon sa Bahay na ito ah”.
“Oo nga bro eh, pagawa na lang tayo ng Motel ni Kuya”. Kita pa tayo nun.

26. There was this plastic that was being swayed by and stayed in the air up and down for some time and then suddenly it fell on the line, “Ikaw ang bigaten!!! Pasok ka na!”

27. Another unidentified floating object was spotted in the air. It’s an inflated balloon that look like… “Condom! Condom! Condom!”, the crowd cheered! “Ayos ah, helium na ang hininga nun ah”.

28. “Parang hindi ko na kaya, bro.”, my newly-found buddy gasped.
“Kaya pa yan. Nandito ka na rin naman.”, I replied.
Some minutes after, “Tsong, hindi ko na kaya.”, my exhausted comment.
“Kaya mo pa yan. Malapit na tayo.”, he replied.
Some more minutes after, “Parang ayoko na.”, he complained.
“Tanaw ko na yung tent. Kaya pa!”, I comforted.
“Suko na yata ako”, ako naman ang nagreklamo.
“Naglolokohan na lang tayo! Hahaha.”

29. “Pre, san ka naligo?”
“Ah dito lang sa Mother Ignacia”
“Akalain mong may resort pala dito.”

30. “Ang Resort Ni Kuya… hindi ka pa pumapasok, tan ka na!”

31. “Wala na akong raket nito sa modeling…” to my line buddy’s discontent.

32. My buddy and I had a chit-chat with this girl. She’s freelance model like my newest bro. Then another one joined the club. “Model ka rin?”, the girl asked. “I tried dati pero hindi na…”, he replied. “Ako rin, model. Model platoon!”, I sneaked in. [Usapang model pala ha.]

33. “Ilang taon na kayo”, the girl asked. Ikaw? “18″… Kaw? “18″…, Ako, “19″,… then I answered… “25″.

34. “Ano profession mo?” asked by the other guy. “Stylist ka niya?” Niya refers to my buddy. Ka refers to me… “Nope”, “Programmer, a stylish programmer!”

35. “Ipinapabatid po namin na may mga gaganapin pang audition sa Metro Manila. Hintayin na lang po ang announcement sa TV”.
“Booo!!!”, everyone reacted!

36. “GMA! GMA! GMA!”, “Kapuso! Kapuso! Kapuso!” yelled by those who didn’t manage to go inside the Concert hall. Bitterness.

37. Then a mother comforted her crying daughter, “Huwag kang mag-aalala anak, lahat ng paghihirap na ito, madali na lang sa susunod.”